honest about love

Love,

you don't deserve me. You don't deserve to care for my broken heart. You don't deserve to care for me at all. Even with your best interests. You don't deserve me. 

Why not? you may ask. Well, because I decided to. 

I know you'll try to find out my heart especially now I said that I decided not to let you find it. Now you will be determined to find the answer why I don't want you to come into my life. You know that I'm protecting my heart now more than ever. I am scared for you that you know my heart and because of that my vulnerability. And I think you also know that. I hate being vulnerable. The more I try to keep you away from me the more it feels like you're coming near. I hate that. It feels threatening. I hate the danger of threat. It shows me again my vulnerability and my weakness. I hate that you see that, because now you know I feel weak. Even when I keep my fence up high. The more I think and start to admit and realize about my protection against you, the more you know about my vulnerability again. I hate feeling weak because it shows you ánd me my loneliness. The feeling of loneliness shows my need and hunger for Love. I hate that I've told you. I hate to admit my fears and vulnerabilities. But I don't hate Love or the need for Love at all. I'm just frightened. 

This is how most of us feel about love. love isn't only a feeling or an expression. Love is also a name of somebody great. The great person is God. Most of us (from Meg) are scared for love as a feeling or expression or however you want to call it. But even when we love God, we are scared of the love of God. because God ís love, I'd rather say: we are scared of the person: Love.


So the first piece of this blog, is changed from the feeling/expression, to the person Love. Let's be honest about our fear. It is hard to do, but will pay back inventually. I haven't seen that myself yet, but I KNOW I will. If you dare to be honest, please respond and let me know what you think. 

God,

you don't deserve me. You don't deserve to care for my broken heart. You don't deserve to care for me at all. Even with your best interests. You don't deserve me. 

Why not? you may ask. Well, because I decided to. 

I know you'll try to find out my heart especially now I said that I decided not to let you find it. Now you will be determined to find the answer why I don't want you to come into my life. You know that I'm protecting my heart now more than ever. I am scared for you that you know my heart and because of that my vulnerability. And I think you also know that. I hate being vulnerable. The more I try to keep you away from me the more it feels like you're coming near. I hate that. It feels threatening. I hate the danger of threat. It shows me again my vulnerability and my weakness. I hate that you see that, because now you know I feel weak. Even when I keep my fence up high. The more I think and start to admit and realize about my protection against you, the more you know about my vulnerability again. I hate feeling weak because it shows you ánd me my loneliness. The feeling of loneliness shows my need and hunger for God. I hate that I've told you. I hate to admit my fears and vulnerabilities. But I don't hate God or the need for God at all. I'm just frightened. 

Megan